little faith

I didn't think that I would be able to do it, but I did! I completed the three paintings I wanted to make for submission into this art show. Hopefully they'll be juried in, and possibly even sold! I actually kind of like the paintings. Tonight Scott and I are going to photograph them, so I'll post photos soon.



To celebrate, the kids and I went to see Howl's Moving Castle, and we loved it! I am a big fan of Miyazaki, while my sister says his movies are an acquired taste. This one was gorgeous! The textures of things, the patina of worn paint, of metal, of copper. It was beautiful.

things to make art about

This is just a brainstorming list of things to make art about, and just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. I've been thinking all the time about art with a capital A.

The BIG ones (in no particular order):
Love
Loss
Family
Nature
Parenting
Poverty
Injustice
Communication
Sex
Loneliness
Growth
Death
Birth
Disease
Joy
Children
Women
Men
History
Myth

Brendan Monroe

Oh how I love Brendan Monroe's artwork!! I wish that I could go and see his upcoming solo show at Giant Robot SF on July 9 (opening from 6:30 -10 pm).

I was lucky enough to be in a postcard swap recently, that he was also in and I got a beautiful print from him. When I sent my card to him, I included a letter, telling him how much I admired his work and he wrote back, causing me to squeal girlishly!

the spindles

I made these buttons for my friend Jamie's band, the Spindles. They are probably my favorite local band. They have a new cd coming out soon, and now they have 100 shiny 1" buttons!

scraphouse

Scraphouse
This appeals to me in so many ways, too bad I missed it! For "World Environment Day" in San Francisco, a team of architects, artists, city officials, contractors, and engineers were challenged to build a temporary single family home entirely out of salvaged, scrap, reused materials. It stood right in front of City Hall, was built in two weeks and was open to the public for three days, and then all of the materials were returned to the recycling center.

better now...

I am finally feeling better. I painted for half the day yesterday, and spent the other half with Scott. We went for a walk and took a nap and went dumpster diving behind a cabinet shop (more about this later), and he cooked us dinner and we watched "The Life Aquatic"

I am not sure about these paintings, but I'm posting them anyway. There are elements that I really like. I'm trying to keep that mean voice quiet and just keep going!

What am I doing?

Sorry to be continually whinging on here about how I'm feeling sick. More than sick now, it's a feeling of no energy that at times mimics a deep existential angst that I could surely do without!

I feel like I need to figure out what I'm doing, where I'm going, who I am, how I am to earn my living, etc. For goodness sake, I'm 33 and I still am not sure.

I mean sure, I can take 5 bucks and turn it into $50 on ebay any day of the week, and that's cool. I do enjoy doing that. I love thrifting, finding things and selling them. It's a perfectly fine way to earn an income. Can I do it for 20 years? Can I become financially secure doing it? I have no idea.

I've been brewing a few more focused business ideas for a few years actually. One, I've come really near to making real this year. I bought two years of webhosting and hired Aeolidia Designs to design a site for me. I filed for a fictitious business name and got a reseller's license and found sources for product and then....fizzle.... It's not gone forever though, I still could and maybe should do that.

Art is going along nicely. Opportunities for shows are presenting themselves to me without me seeking much. If I produced more artwork I could probably sell it. I love making art, but somehow get all emotionally snarled up with the "negative self talk" stuff. The really irritating and mean inner voice that says I suck and everyone else is better and why bother and who cares and it's dumb and on and on ad nauseam. I know deep inside that I make art because it's human nature to do so, because I am compelled to, I know I shouldn't compare, I know I'm learning and I know that all artistic expression is worthwhile. But damn....

I often regret that I didn't go to the college I should have gone to, that I had my children young and with the wrong person, but that's pointless.

Geez I hope I feel better soon!

so tired

Today has been exhausting. I hope that it ends soon.

It's hot, I'm still not feeling better, but I've been compelled to tackle a bunch of yard work that I've put off for way too long. My landlord walked by yesterday and yes the state of my yard was not good. My lawnmower has been broken for a while, passers by have littered in my rosebushes, things are overgrown and not tidy and well kept at all. I'll admit it.

I feel very anxious when things get like that, when even crackheads walking by say "Your yard looks like it needs work, do you need a gardener?" Yes, I need a gardener, but I can't afford one. It makes me feel like things are out of control, and with this lingering sinus thing, I don't have the energy to manage it all.

Sorry.
This blog will perk up soon...

I have been doing a few projects that I wanted to write about. If you want to read something good, read this

....

I miss creative reuse. Guess I'll have to try this. Or http://www.ciwmb.ca.gov/reuse/Profiles/EastBay.htm.

blah

This cold has turned into a sinus infection, I think. I've been feeling crummy for a week and a half. I have no energy whatsoever and I just want to crawl into bed and feel sorry for myself. I feel terrible, because the kids want to do stuff, and I can't!

Also, I haven't posted any ebay listings, and I spent soooo much money on art supplies this week. I wanted to auction off the paintings that I made on Sunday to recoup some of those costs. Blah.

great odin's raven!

Whoa! It's nine o'clock! I painted for 7 hours straight today, and I had no idea that much time had passed. What a great feeling. I wasn't that pleased with the output, but the process was marvelous. I really love encaustic painting. I wish that I could smell it. I still have this terrible cold.

My sweetheart is sick today too. He got some kind of terrible food poisoning, and quite possibly "the cold" too.

Now I guess that I'd better eat something and go out dancing!

happy father's day! The image is from superdickery.com Terrible, isn't it?

Here's the other encaustic painting. It's not finished yet, and it looks better in person, but look!!! It's shiny, plus it has a monkey! 

This is what I made in encaustic class this morning. It's not finished yet, but I was so excited, I wanted to share it. I loved the class it was soooooo much fun!! 

postcards

Don't worry guys, we have until the end of June!

oh no!!!!

hey knitters....

I have a bunch of yarn for sale on ebay this week. I know this is a bit uncouth, but it's really wonderful yarn, and it's cheap, and I need money, and you need yarn, right?

soft green wool

pretty pretty tweed wool in nice greens
a boatload of handspun wool, ready for dyeing fun
really pretty multicolored boucle

time management

Eek!

I just figured out that I have a mere 17 weeks until my solo show. A huge space to fill, and no work that I even like at all. Last year, I had just one wall in this place and I had over 40 small block paintings and 10 other paintings. This year I have to fill all the walls!!

My goal for the summer is to experiment and produce lots of stuff, even if I don't like it. You know, practice, learn, make progress. I want to learn new media too, like encaustic, and silkscreening. I want to combine painting and silkscreening with the fiber work that I have been doing and thinking of for years...embroidery, feltmaking, quilting, dyeing. I want to end up with a body of work that I am proud of.

But at the same time, I need to make money, and parent my kids. Sigh....

time management

Eek!

I just figured out that I have a mere 17 weeks until my solo show. A huge space to fill, and no work that I even like at all. Last year, I had just one wall in this place and I had over 40 small block paintings and 10 other paintings. This year I have to fill all the walls!!

My goal for the summer is to experiment and produce lots of stuff, even if I don't like it. You know, practice, learn, make progress. I want to learn new media too, like encaustic, and silkscreening. I want to combine painting and silkscreening with the fiber work that I have been doing and thinking of for years...embroidery, feltmaking, quilting, dyeing. I want to end up with a body of work that I am proud of.

But at the same time, I need to make money, and parent my kids. Sigh....

road ahead

I've been thinking a lot about what I'm doing lately with my artwork, and where I want to go with it, and why I'm doing it. I can't say that I've come up with any profound ideas or solutions to my problems. Those things have just been on my mind.

Laurel and I discussed the feeling that you get when you see work by other artists that is just like what you imagine you'd do if you were as far along or as talented as they are. How it makes you feel a bit disheartened, and makes you question what you're doing.

I've often seen someone's work and thought "darn it! that's what I've been thinking of, and now what's the point of doing it?"

More later on this, Zelia and I are going to draw together now.

templates??

Does anybody know where to find good templates for blogs? I want something that I can put my own little graphics into, but also something that I can make categorized archives with, like Thimble. Is that even possible with blogger?

If things are easier to organize, then I can post more projects and how to's and neat stuff I found on the internet and that sort of thing. That would make me happy.

tired, sniffly, sunburnt, hot

I woke up early this morning to head down to the auction appraisal clinic at Bonham's and Butterfield's in San Francisco this morning. The morning commute traffic wasn't as bad as I had feared and I made it there by 9:30 or so. I didn't get lost and I even found a parking spot in the tiny 12 spot parking lot! Good omens, I hoped!!

It was so cool inside there, seeing over a hundred people and all of their most special treasures. They had tables set up in all of the different specialties : Asian art and antiques, paintings, silver, furniture and the decorative arts, Native American and Pre-Colombian art and artifacts, etc. It was just like the Antiques Roadshow, thankfully sans tv cameras. It turns out that my treasures were not as valuable as I had hoped. The silver pieces were all appraised at around $500. If I had the whole set, not just a teapot here, a serving tray there, it would have been worth far more.

The most valuable thing (as I had suspected) was the claret jug. But it's got serious damage and is in need of repair. If it was perfect, he said that it would have been worth around $2,000.

The thing that my friend told me was a Tiffany lamp was actually a Japanese vase that someone had cut the bottom from and turned into a lamp, which of course destroys the value of the object. So although it is very beautiful, the appraiser said that it was worth less than $100 and I felt a bit like a jackass.

I was done with that by 10:30 or so and went and met Laurel and Fargo and Andy for coffee. Then she showed me some of her artwork, which is looking amazing! She figured out a new way to display her sculpture and it looks perfect!

I was trying not to spend the whole time loudly blowing my nose. I have a bad cold which made it hard to think and talk and breathe.

We also had lunch and walked around the Mission and went thrift shopping, it was very nice. I saw many interesting things, and I wish that I had brought my camera...here's a list:

1-hairless cat
2-store that sells zoot suits and everything else that goes with them, like color co-ordinated shoes and hats and suspenders
3-man-thong underwear in the shape of a red cartoon elephant
4-pretty girls in summer dresses
5-lots of color

Now I am exhausted and sunburnt and ready for bed.

Saturday Morning

When I woke up this morning, I thought that it was Sunday, and I got all excited for a minute. Nope, it's Saturday. Made breakfast for the kids and tea for me and then we all piled into the car to go to some yard sales. It's my job, after all and with the kids home every day all summer, I've told them that it will be our summer Saturday routine.

Didn't find a whole lot. I did get some incredible wool yarns (the woman told me they were over $20/skein originally), and a really nice turntable, and a present for Scott, and Roller Coaster Tycoon 2 for Sylvan.

Today I suppose I'll clean the house and then in the evening go and have a bbq with my ex-in laws. While my ex may be entirely made up of character flaws, the rest of his family, I love dearly.

baby owls 

postcard exchange progress?

I'm not done, I'm working on it today though. It's fun and tough at the same time. I know that one person is done for sure! Summertime creatures?....hmmmmm....

gocco compatible pens

I looked all over the internet last night for a simple list of pens that will work with gocco screens, and I never found one. But then I remembered that my local art supply store has one posted. I went down there and copied it. Feel free to repost it, and if you know of any others that work for sure, let me know!

Black Sharpie
Pentel Color Pen
Tombow Brush Pen
Itoya Fine Point (non permanent)
Pigma Micron
Pitt Pen
Zig Calligraphy
Staedtler Pigment Liner
Rapidograph Ultradraw
Stabilo (all)
Ritmo Charcoal
China Marker
Staedtler 2b pencil
Sanford Uni-Ball
Black Crayon

end of school

Tomorrow is the last day of school for my kids. They only go three days per week, the other days we homeschool. It will be nice to have more time with them, but dang, I was really enjoying the long quiet work days by myself.

Here is a ceramic tile that my talented little girly made at Todd's studio as a gift for her teacher:

recent developments

*borrowed a 1" button maker
*was given a huge 40" square gallery wrapped canvas, that I re-gessoed today, and have an idea for
*finished my May sketchbook
*sold two small paintings today
*bought a kind of pricey archival inkjet printer (might return it) because it doesn't work as promised
*also just snagged one of the Camilla Engman prints from tiny showcase
*I'm also waiting to buy a print from my friend Todd Baricklow who is a kick ass artist,as well as my good friend Spring's husband.

classes

I just signed up for an encaustic workshop. I'm very excited about it! It is in two weeks at the art supply store that I go to, and it's a half day thing, and I've already arranged for childcare.

The teacher is Catherine McCauley

Soon I should have images of my own to post!

stumble?

"Where you stumble, that's where your treasure is....The world is a match for us and we are a match for the world, and where it seems to be most challenging is where the greatest invitation lies to find deeper and greater powers in ourselves." -Joseph Campbell

Oh, and speaking of treasure of a completely different sort, check these out...




I have recently acquired some honest to goodness treasures, and I'm going to go to Butterfield's auction house in the city to have them appraised. I'm attempting not to be too excited. It's going to be like my very own Antique's Roadshow. I'll keep you posted.

all the modern conveniences

I got a dishwasher today, from my friend who just moved into a new house and didn't want a movable maytag dishwasher that the previous owner had left behind. It's an awkward fit in my kitchen, but it's a dishwasher!!! It's been years since I've had one. Yay.

This week has been totally wonderful and kind of magical. Generosity is flowing around me and I'm so pleased and grateful. I got to spend Sunday and Monday with Scott, and that was a lovely change. On Sunday, I got a myspace message from a woman who I only really "know" on myspace, telling me about great computer sales and financing available over the holiday weekend. I don't have a great credit rating, because I have rejected the whole credit thing, until now (I'm changing my mind about credit). I decided to try anyway, but I was denied.

I told the woman that I didn't qualify, and she said "Oh, I'll co-sign with you, I have excellent credit, I do it for friends all the time!" This offer was astonishing. We met at the computer store and applied and got the credit and I got a shiny new computer that I can make payments on for 18 months with no interest, instead of trying to save up a ton of cash, and working on a borrowed machine.

And the woman who helped me was great! Smart and kind and interesting. She is from Yugoslavia and works for an NGO helping pass social reforms and helping to promote the interests of marginalized groups. I am hoping to take her out for lunch or a drink or something.

Another really amazing act of generosity happened for me this week too, but I'm a bit too sleepy to write about it right now.